Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends and Colleagues
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- Create Date：2021-06-02 11:15:58
- Update Date：2025-09-23
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- Author：David Bradford
- ISBN：0241406803
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Summary
A transformative guide to building more fulfilling relationships with colleagues， friends， partners， and family， based on the landmark Interpersonal Dynamics （"Touchy Feely"） course at Stanford's Graduate School of Business
The ability to create strong relationships with others is crucial to living a full life and becoming more effective at work。 Yet many of us find ourselves struggling to build solid personal and professional connections， or unable to handle challenges that inevitably arise when we grow closer to others。 When we find ourselves in an exceptional relationship--the kind of relationship where we feel fully understood and supported for who we are--it can seem like magic。 But the truth is that the process of building and sustaining these relationships can be described， learned， and applied。
David Bradford and Carole Robin taught interpersonal skills to MBA candidates for a combined seventy-five years in their legendary Stanford Graduate School of Business course Interpersonal Dynamics （affectionately known to generations of students as "Touchy Feely"） and have coached and consulted to hundreds of executives for decades。
In Connect， they show readers how to take their relationships from shallow to exceptional， along the way offering time-tested strategies for giving feedback， negotiating boundaries， and working through disagreements。 Through stories of people navigating tricky moments in relationships--all based on real dynamics Bradford and Robin have witnessed or experienced--we see the six hallmarks of an exceptional relationship in action: authenticity， vulnerability， honesty， a willingness to ask for and offer help， a shared commitment to growth， and an ability to deal productively with conflict。
Filled with relatable scenarios and research-backed insights， Connect will be an important resource for anyone hoping to improve existing relationships and build new ones at any stage of life。
The ability to create strong relationships with others is crucial to living a full life and becoming more effective at work。 Yet many of us find ourselves struggling to build solid personal and professional connections， or unable to handle challenges that inevitably arise when we grow closer to others。 When we find ourselves in an exceptional relationship--the kind of relationship where we feel fully understood and supported for who we are--it can seem like magic。 But the truth is that the process of building and sustaining these relationships can be described， learned， and applied。
David Bradford and Carole Robin taught interpersonal skills to MBA candidates for a combined seventy-five years in their legendary Stanford Graduate School of Business course Interpersonal Dynamics （affectionately known to generations of students as "Touchy Feely"） and have coached and consulted to hundreds of executives for decades。
In Connect， they show readers how to take their relationships from shallow to exceptional， along the way offering time-tested strategies for giving feedback， negotiating boundaries， and working through disagreements。 Through stories of people navigating tricky moments in relationships--all based on real dynamics Bradford and Robin have witnessed or experienced--we see the six hallmarks of an exceptional relationship in action: authenticity， vulnerability， honesty， a willingness to ask for and offer help， a shared commitment to growth， and an ability to deal productively with conflict。
Filled with relatable scenarios and research-backed insights， Connect will be an important resource for anyone hoping to improve existing relationships and build new ones at any stage of life。
Reviews
Bill
，
If you believe how highly regarded these authors are as teachers of this topic， it's quite an achievement how they managed to adapt such a lackluster book version of their course。 The case studies have such absurdly unrealistic dialog and the whole program comes across as oversimplified and from the worldview of privilege that might connect well to Stanford students， but didn't connect with me。 If you believe how highly regarded these authors are as teachers of this topic， it's quite an achievement how they managed to adapt such a lackluster book version of their course。 The case studies have such absurdly unrealistic dialog and the whole program comes across as oversimplified and from the worldview of privilege that might connect well to Stanford students， but didn't connect with me。 。。。more
Nick Salenga
，
This is a great book that is important resource for anyone hoping to improve existing relationships & build new ones at any stage of life filled with relatable scenarios & research-backed insights。
Stephanie Itelman
，
As a student in "touchy feely" I felt and knew that it had changed the way I saw relationships and was able to interact with others in a more authentic way。 Getting this refresher course in the form of a book was so helpful and I recommend it to anyone looking to improve or deepen any relationship in their life。 As a student in "touchy feely" I felt and knew that it had changed the way I saw relationships and was able to interact with others in a more authentic way。 Getting this refresher course in the form of a book was so helpful and I recommend it to anyone looking to improve or deepen any relationship in their life。 。。。more
Stacy
，
Highly recommend this book as required reading for all humans。 Written by the professors who teach Stanford Business School’s #1 most popular class， it offers transformative information on interpersonal skills。 Covers everything from how to take a superficial relationship deeper to how to approach conflict。 Amazing read！
Robert Chang
，
This is a fantastic book， one of the best that I have read on the topic of how to build great interpersonal relationships。 It is based on the landmark interpersonal dynamics （“Touchy-Feely”） course at Stanford University Graduate School of Business。 I especially love the stories presented in the book， and how it weaves them with the lessons as if they are case studies。 Great book all around， and the concepts are worth chewing for many times over。
Alexandra Zhang
，
Best book I’ve read in 2021 thus far; it left me feeling empowered！ Highly recommend this read to build meaningful and exceptional connections with the people in your life。
Christine
，
Interesting book about connections。 Nothing earth shattering or even new but comprehensive and does name things that you’re aware of ie pinches—those things that are annoying but not a big deal and how they can festerBeing direct and straightforward is the key。
Lee Woodruff
，
*These are books I genuinely love and am thrilled to recommend to my friends。 These are Bookshop。org affiliate links， meaning， at no additional cost to you， I get a small commission if you click through and make a purchase。 Alternately， if you prefer to rent books at your local library or buy from your local bookstore， I very much support that！
Ana
，
The premise of the book is that it will allow you to forge better， more meaningful connections with those around you。 I was intrigued but had very low expectations， and I was very skeptical about the whole premise。As many others have said， it's nothing new。 The book explains techniques and gives a lot of examples of uncomfortable conversations and how to deal with them to get a more positive outcome。 These conversations are fairly realistic （especially in later chapters; the ones at the beginnin The premise of the book is that it will allow you to forge better， more meaningful connections with those around you。 I was intrigued but had very low expectations， and I was very skeptical about the whole premise。As many others have said， it's nothing new。 The book explains techniques and gives a lot of examples of uncomfortable conversations and how to deal with them to get a more positive outcome。 These conversations are fairly realistic （especially in later chapters; the ones at the beginning are very simple）。 There was nothing that made me think "Oh， I had never considered that！" Now， here's the twist: I actually attempted a couple of them （from the 'how to give feedback' section）， and。。。 they worked。 I repeat that it's nothing that you are not probably aware of already， but I guess reading about them gave me the courage to actually attempt them in situations where I felt stuck with someone （and talking to a wall）。 They're a couple of steps in the right direction， although of course it's very early days。 Having this in mind， I will possibly （once we're out of lockdown and we can interact with people in a more normal way） pick the book again and practice some of the prompts at the end of the chapters。I won't say this book is going to change your life， but I think it's worth your time if you're curious enough。Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free ARC in exchange for an honest opinion。 。。。more
Harley
，
This one took me long than expected to read。 Setting out the principles and concepts explored in Stanford's Interpersonal Dynamics course， which Bradford and Robin were instrumental in developing， this is a book that leads the reader in detail through what it takes to make a relationships exceptional。 Why it took me so long to read was that I wanted to think about each chapter。 I came away from each sitting of reading this wanting to really think about what I'd learned， how I might apply it and This one took me long than expected to read。 Setting out the principles and concepts explored in Stanford's Interpersonal Dynamics course， which Bradford and Robin were instrumental in developing， this is a book that leads the reader in detail through what it takes to make a relationships exceptional。 Why it took me so long to read was that I wanted to think about each chapter。 I came away from each sitting of reading this wanting to really think about what I'd learned， how I might apply it and who I might apply it with。 I was challenging myself as a result of what I'd read。For that reason， this isn't a book to be picked up as a light-hearted 'self-help' read in the vein of a 'here's what I've learned in my life that you might apply to yours'。 This is almost academic in its rigour and it beats with the years of experience the authors have in delivering the course and in building exceptional relationships themselves。 It's 4 stars for me， I'd recommend sitting down and really reading this carefully - it's worth it。 。。。more
Pam Sartain
，
Connect; Building Exceptional Relationships with Family， Friends and Colleagues by David L。 Bradford and Carole Robin is a book about how to communicate better with your loved ones。There are examples of pairs of people who have issues， and how they try to communicate。 The authors then break it down to show the things they do incorrectly， and those that they do well。 They give suggestions， so that you as the reader are learning how to explain your feelings to another person。This was a really in Connect; Building Exceptional Relationships with Family， Friends and Colleagues by David L。 Bradford and Carole Robin is a book about how to communicate better with your loved ones。There are examples of pairs of people who have issues， and how they try to communicate。 The authors then break it down to show the things they do incorrectly， and those that they do well。 They give suggestions， so that you as the reader are learning how to explain your feelings to another person。This was a really interesting book， with suggestions like 'when you do x， it makes me feel y'， which is something I've seen elsewhere， and has other ideas， and is aimed at you using it as a workbook， complete with the suggestion of writing a journal as you go through it。 Connect; Building Exceptional Relationships with Family， Friends and Colleagues was published on 4th March 2021， and is available on Amazon ， Waterstones and Bookshop。org 。I'm afraid I couldn't find anywhere you can follow the authors。I was given this book in exchange for an unbiased review， so my thanks to NetGalley and to Penguin 。 。。。more
Karen Ng
，
A book about building strong and balanced human relationships without the mentioning of any psychopathy as narcissism， sociopathy and borderline disorder（human that have no empathy and cannot reciprocate kindness/favor）。。。 is quite useless， in my opinion。
Tony Levitan
，
Full disclosure， I have been an adherent of lessons gained from Stanford Business School's Interpersonal Dynamics class — widely-known as "Touchy-feely" — since I was privileged enough to take it as a student in the 1990s。 And， I have been a big Carole and David fan for almost as many years as a colleague， friend， and co-conspirator in spreading the word on building exceptional relationships。The challenge of capturing for the benefit of a wider audience the experiential learning essence gained f Full disclosure， I have been an adherent of lessons gained from Stanford Business School's Interpersonal Dynamics class — widely-known as "Touchy-feely" — since I was privileged enough to take it as a student in the 1990s。 And， I have been a big Carole and David fan for almost as many years as a colleague， friend， and co-conspirator in spreading the word on building exceptional relationships。The challenge of capturing for the benefit of a wider audience the experiential learning essence gained from the course or related forums （e。g。， Leaders in Tech's Intensive Programs & Retreats， where Carole is a Co-founder） seemed not just daunting， but near impossible。 But after reading CONNECT， it's abundantly clear that Carole and David have found ways to make accessible to all the core tenets of their life's work。 Though clear presentation of frameworks and guidelines; powerful anecdotes; exemplary， thought-provoking storytelling; and essential exercises that help a reader put into practice what the authors espouse， the magic that has generated relational epiphanies for so many Touchy-feely participants over the years is there for the realizing。 Feedback is a gift？ Yes， indeed！ And so are David Bradford and Carole Robin for sharing their wisdom and insights with all of us in CONNECT。 As you already no doubt surmise， I strongly recommend this book for anyone in search of greater interpersonal effectiveness。 。。。more
Amber
，
I’ve read a lot of relationship， communication， and crucial conversation books。 This one， more than any others， actually tackles the layers of complexity in contexts where real interpersonal care is needed。 The authors avoid simple answers。 That makes the insights difficult to apply but potentially more rewarding。
John Thurlbeck
，
Thank you very much to Penguin Life for the ARC。Connect is a practical， easy-to-read book that opens up your thinking and why relationships matter and how to make them exceptional。It is a wonderful guide to how anyone can develop effective and rewarding interpersonal relationships。 This book will make you feel and think differently - and for the better！Learning to connect across differences helps anyone develop skills that， as a leadership coach， I see in such short supply - gaining self-knowled Thank you very much to Penguin Life for the ARC。Connect is a practical， easy-to-read book that opens up your thinking and why relationships matter and how to make them exceptional。It is a wonderful guide to how anyone can develop effective and rewarding interpersonal relationships。 This book will make you feel and think differently - and for the better！Learning to connect across differences helps anyone develop skills that， as a leadership coach， I see in such short supply - gaining self-knowledge， building trust， giving and receiving feedback， and exercising influence。If you wish to make your relationships exceptional， this book is a must-read！ 。。。more
Kate
，
Carole’s Interpersonal Dynamics class was the best class of my life。 The communication techniques and frameworks have really transformed my relationships and massively improved by leadership style。 I’m thrilled everyone now has an opportunity to benefit from her teachings。 This book is well-crafted and gives practical tips on how to communicate authentically with an appropriate level of vulnerability and how to manage conflict。 Highly recommend！
David
，
Connect is a guide to improving relationships between us in our everyday lives whether at work or personal。I wanted to read the book as I thought that I could improve some of the relationships in my life and to that extent it has worked， in making me look at situations afresh。The book's main focus is on conflicts within relationships and how to resolve conflicts within relationships and not cause lasting damage。 This is helped by the authors use of both fictional and real accounts of conflict be Connect is a guide to improving relationships between us in our everyday lives whether at work or personal。I wanted to read the book as I thought that I could improve some of the relationships in my life and to that extent it has worked， in making me look at situations afresh。The book's main focus is on conflicts within relationships and how to resolve conflicts within relationships and not cause lasting damage。 This is helped by the authors use of both fictional and real accounts of conflict between people and the actions taken to resolve the conflict， the authors also use their own experiences to illustrate the points being made in the book。The book also encourages us to look at our own relationships and make steps to possibly improve those。A interesting read， although it can be a bit heavy at times。If you are looking at improving your relationships or developing yourself， it is a worthwhile read。Thank you to both NetGalley and the Authors and publishers for the ARC of this book。 。。。more
Helen
，
In these days of Instagram perfection， surface impressions are the norm。 This book teaches you how to have the confidence to build more than superficial relationships， be this in personal and professional life。 How to resolve conflicts and difference of opinions and still go forward。 A must for any age going in the workplace or a serious relationship。
Emma
，
A really good and practical step by step guide to improving， beginning or developing relationships in your life。 The chapters are just long enough to be projects and the tasks are challenging but simple in the approach。 I found benefit from the book。
Lesley
，
Sadly， I had to give up on this book。 I do understand that advance reader copies of books may not be perfect in layout or may not be the final copy as far as proof reading goes but as a ‘born proof reader’ I found myself taking in none of this book and simply proof reading and boy does it need proof reading。 Virtually every page has multiple spelling mistakes， many typos and some that I can only presume are the writers’ shorthand as they are repeated time after time。 I always， when I read a book Sadly， I had to give up on this book。 I do understand that advance reader copies of books may not be perfect in layout or may not be the final copy as far as proof reading goes but as a ‘born proof reader’ I found myself taking in none of this book and simply proof reading and boy does it need proof reading。 Virtually every page has multiple spelling mistakes， many typos and some that I can only presume are the writers’ shorthand as they are repeated time after time。 I always， when I read a book， make a note of the errors and if authors or publishers are interested， I forward them on。 About twenty pages into this book， I realised that I had no idea of the content of the book as I had simply proof read and corrected it， so I gave up。If there is a better copy available， I would be happy to read and review it。 。。。more
Rishabh Srivastava
，
Context: Reading this as a part of an effort to be more open-minded， and less reactive to new ideas。 I listened to the author on a Clubhouse session， and found this bit insightful“Understand people’s experiences。 Suspend judgement long enough to understand why a person thinks or feels the way they do。 You can retroactively pass judge the quality and validity of their idea/experience — but be open at the point you’re being exposed to another perspective”Looking forward to digging into this with a Context: Reading this as a part of an effort to be more open-minded， and less reactive to new ideas。 I listened to the author on a Clubhouse session， and found this bit insightful“Understand people’s experiences。 Suspend judgement long enough to understand why a person thinks or feels the way they do。 You can retroactively pass judge the quality and validity of their idea/experience — but be open at the point you’re being exposed to another perspective”Looking forward to digging into this with an open mind。 Will update if it was useful to me after reading。 。。。more
Sheri
，
Connect is an interesting guide to improving relationships - whether that be in a work or personal context。 Carole Robin and David Bradford have， between them， an impressive seventy-five years of teaching this stuff to Stanford University MBA candidates， so they should have some idea what they're talking about。They basically describe six hallmarks of "exceptional" relationships （sadly， I'm not sure I have any relationships which fully qualify， though I have elements of them）， which are basically Connect is an interesting guide to improving relationships - whether that be in a work or personal context。 Carole Robin and David Bradford have， between them， an impressive seventy-five years of teaching this stuff to Stanford University MBA candidates， so they should have some idea what they're talking about。They basically describe six hallmarks of "exceptional" relationships （sadly， I'm not sure I have any relationships which fully qualify， though I have elements of them）， which are basically around being able to be yourself， being able to be vulnerable， trusting the other person enough to self-disclose， being honest， dealing with conflict effectively， and being committed to each other's growth and development。I was interested in the focus on self-disclosure and expressing feelings honestly， as I'm aware this is something I'm not so good at。 I was also particularly interested in the section on giving and receiving feedback， which is a significant part of my job role。While I'm not sure I will remember or implement all of the guidance here （sometimes it sounds really hard to get it right）， there are definitely some parts which will stick with me， like the very helpful image of "staying on your own side of the net"！The case studies， followed throughout the book， are particularly useful， enabling the reader to better understand the ideas via "real life" situations which don't， of course， always go according to the theory。 And the authors practise what they preach by describing challenges in their own long-term relationship as friends and colleagues， and how these were addressed。 。。。more
Chantal Lyons
，
'Connect' confounded my expectations that the content would focus on things like being as solicitous towards friends and family as possible。 Actually， it focuses primarily on the points when relationships reach conflicts。 How to identify and address a smaller conflict before it builds up to a more difficult one; how to manage those more difficult conflicts; and how to come away feeling stronger together after addressing a conflict in a relationship。 What is particularly helpful about the book is 'Connect' confounded my expectations that the content would focus on things like being as solicitous towards friends and family as possible。 Actually， it focuses primarily on the points when relationships reach conflicts。 How to identify and address a smaller conflict before it builds up to a more difficult one; how to manage those more difficult conflicts; and how to come away feeling stronger together after addressing a conflict in a relationship。 What is particularly helpful about the book is its inclusion of fictional and real accounts of conversations between people that are characterised by conflict。 This allowed a "deep dive" into the book's advice and removed any sense of abstractedness。 The authors themselves were candid in sharing their own mistakes and learning moments over the years。I really hope I retain the important points raised in this book。 I certainly learned new things， or at least， things I hadn't actively considered before。 For example， whenever you're in a heated exchange， don't "go over the net" in ascribing intentions and beliefs to the other person; you can never know what's in their head。 Stick to your own feelings， and how the person's behaviour has affected you， regardless of their intent。 I plan to be more mindful of my choice of words and thinking patterns whenever I find myself in that kind of situation in future。 However， I chose not to engage more fully with the book， which at the end of each chapter suggests reaching out to someone in your life who you'd like to deepen your connection with and discuss what you've learned。 I'd rather my learning come out organically， and also， in a pandemic where I am cut off from my close friends and family， it can be harder to have those kinds of conversations online， and it's telling that the stories in the book all take place in person。That leads me onto my main negative point about the book - with the pandemic， it feels less relevant。 The authors/publisher have had ample time to thread in something about how to negotiate and strengthen relationships during this stressful， constraining， and isolating time。 But there's no mention of the pandemic at all。 I get that they want to future-proof the book， but also， Covid-19 is going to change some things forever。 At the very least， I would've loved to see a final additional chapter containing the authors' reflections on how to adapt their advice to living and loving in this bitter time。（With thanks to Penguin and NetGalley for this ebook in exchange for an honest review） 。。。more
Heather Trevis
，
Written by the masters of a landmark Stanford University course on interpersonal skills I had high hopes for this book， but I'm afraid for me this might be an example of how very effective courses don't always translate into great books。 The advice on how to build exceptional relationships is good， capturing modern insights on the importance of developing a growth mindset， the power of vulnerability and how to approach conflict。 However， I didn't find the book that enjoyable to read as pages wer Written by the masters of a landmark Stanford University course on interpersonal skills I had high hopes for this book， but I'm afraid for me this might be an example of how very effective courses don't always translate into great books。 The advice on how to build exceptional relationships is good， capturing modern insights on the importance of developing a growth mindset， the power of vulnerability and how to approach conflict。 However， I didn't find the book that enjoyable to read as pages were filled with examples of dialogue demonstrating good and bad approaches， and there were attempts to quantify feelings in percentage terms that just didn't work for me。 I can see how the book would be suited to business students， or left-brained thinkers， who might connect better with the book's logical approach。 。。。more
Jenn Singer
，
Connect is an in-depth look at who to build solid relations ships with others。 It goes beyond the basics and reminds us that there is a give and take balance needed for any relationship to thrive。 As you get to know each other more， you delve into the next level until you truly are connected to the other person。 The book talks about all the aspects that go into a relationship。 What struck me the most was that conflict is needed for any relationship to thrive。 At the end of each chapter， the auth Connect is an in-depth look at who to build solid relations ships with others。 It goes beyond the basics and reminds us that there is a give and take balance needed for any relationship to thrive。 As you get to know each other more， you delve into the next level until you truly are connected to the other person。 The book talks about all the aspects that go into a relationship。 What struck me the most was that conflict is needed for any relationship to thrive。 At the end of each chapter， the author gives time for you to conduct your own self-reflection and gives you tips to help to improve the relationships around you。 This review based on ARC obtained via NetGalley from Crown Publishing in return for a candid review。 。。。more
Janet
，
Date reviewed/posted: January 23， 2021Publication date: March 4， 2021When life for the entire galaxy and planet has turned on its end， you are continuing to #maskup and #lockdown to be in #COVID19 #socialisolation as the #secondwave is upon us， AND the worst sciatica attack in your life means you MIGHT sleep 3 hours a night， superspeed readers like me can read 250+ pages/hour， so yes， I have read the book … and many more today。I requested and received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of t Date reviewed/posted: January 23， 2021Publication date: March 4， 2021When life for the entire galaxy and planet has turned on its end， you are continuing to #maskup and #lockdown to be in #COVID19 #socialisolation as the #secondwave is upon us， AND the worst sciatica attack in your life means you MIGHT sleep 3 hours a night， superspeed readers like me can read 250+ pages/hour， so yes， I have read the book … and many more today。I requested and received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley， the publisher and the author in exchange for an honest review。 From the publisher， as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews， I let them do it as they do it better than I do 😸。The ability to create strong relationships with others is crucial to living a fulfilled life。 Yet many of us find ourselves struggling to build solid connections， or unable to handle challenges that inevitably arise when we grow closer to others。 When we find ourselves in an exceptional relationship - where we feel fully understood and supported for who we are - it can seem like magic。 And the truth is that the process of building and sustaining these relationships can be described， learned， and applied。David Bradford and Carole Robin taught interpersonal skills to MBA candidates for a combined seventy-five years in their blockbuster Stanford course， Interpersonal Dynamics。 In Connect， they show readers how to take their relationships from shallow to exceptional， along the way offering time-tested strategies for giving feedback， negotiating boundaries， and navigating disagreements。 Through stories of people navigating tricky moments in relationships - all based on real dynamics Bradford and Robin have witnessed or experienced - we see the six hallmarks of an exceptional relationship in action。Filled with relatable scenarios and research-backed insights， Connect will be an important resource for anyone hoping to improve existing relationships and build new ones at any stage of life。Um。。。。。。。。。。。。 no。 I don't care if they have 75 years of experience， these authors just irritated me and turned me off。 This is too self-helpish， high falutin'， silly 。。。。 waste of paper or storage space on your kindle。You might like it， I found it unreadable 。。。 I did say that I would be honest which can easily backfire。 I only skimmed through the middle half of the book and abandoned it/severed our relationship/etc。 I was forced to give it one star。。。and on Goodreads， I will give it one star because a non-existent rating does not "count" in the accrual of like and dislike stars。 。。。more
Savannah
，